Nothing can make a person insane like arguing with a toddler. You are the adult. You refuse to be pushed around by some tiny tyrant. If anyone is a tyrant around here, it’s you. You are in charge.
But, that’s all very exhausting. You start to question your own sanity after a while. “Why do I even care who’s toothbrush he uses?!” You become a toddler and start picking fights with the fight picker! It’s all downhill from there people. Remember, you created this monster. Your stubborn blood courses through it’s tiny veins.
In order to combat the madness: Stop arguing and give the toddler everything they want. What’s the worst that can happen?
They want to eat the funnel cake with Boysenberries and ice cream on top, even though they’re lactose intolerant? Insert the ice cream in his mouth, the screaming will stop. Bring on the diarrhea. Diarrhea is more quiet than screaming. Usually…
Climbing kids are stressful. But, some of the best lessons in life are learned while climbing (Or so I’ve been told…). He wants to climb those boxes stacked precariously by the piano bench? Just toss some pillows on the ground and hope he lands on them. His forehead needed a cut to match the bruise.
Everyone is getting ready for church. The toddler wants to play in the bathroom while Daddy shaves? Game on. That face was looking a little parched. Moisturizing is important stuff, folks!
He wants to wear the pretty barrette he found on the floor at church? Work it, kid. God gave you those curls, use them before you lose them!
Potty training hell? They want to try on ALL 7 PAIRS of the new Mickey Mouse underwear you bought them? Just let it happen. While you’re at it, let them wear the life jacket you told them was just for swimming too. Yeah, 10 minutes from now they will pee in ALL 7 PAIRS, but that’s why we have a washing machine. Everyone needs to run around the house in their nakedness.
Time to pick up the big kids from school & they refuse to put pants on (Who’s kid is this? Stinking exhibitionist!)? Fine. Go get in the car seat kid. You wanted to play hide-and-seek, right? Fishing their half naked butt our from under the van is totally your idea of a great time anyway.
Trust me. Someday they’re going to do something worth arguing about. Save your arguments. When they are more rare, they instill more fear. The shock factor will help your case when they want to make a dry ice bomb in the backyard or push their brother down the steep street in a Tonka truck.
Little people, little problems. Big people, destructive/terrifying problems. Save the rage. Cultivate it. Nurture it. You’re gonna need it.