How to Keep the Bathroom Clean… In a House Full of Boys

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If you’re a mother of all BOYS, or you have a son, brother, cousin, or have used the bathroom in a house with one: You understand how REAL the STRUGGLE is. I am tired of stepping in, smelling, wiping up, and sitting in another human being’s urine. I have my own pee to clean up!

My children are not little babies. We are past the days of me wiping the pee off their behinds (Except for Tornado, who delights in torturing me for as long as possible with his bodily fluids.). I refuse to clean their bathroom upstairs because it is a Health Hazard.

You know the saying, “The World is Your Oyster”? Well, their ENTIRE BATHROOM is their Oyster/Urinal. I’ve come to terms with it. I never use that bathroom. I would just as soon pee myself as use that upstairs hall bathroom.  If you visit my house, you are NOT ALLOWED to use it. You are permitted to use the one downstairs. If it is in use, form a line ladies and gentlemen.

So, When I went to clean that “guest bathroom”, there was a serious problem. I had gone “Nose Blind” folks. And all other kids of blind as well. During the week I must not look too closely while I’m indisposed. If I’m not smacked in the face with eye-watering odor upon entering, I carry on and get out as quickly as possible. OK, sometimes I hide in there and read… But, when I clean I look closer. Too close it seems.

that is when the pee hit the fan. or, it would have if there was an actual fan in the bathroom.

This is not a joke. Not even kidding a little.

Yellow= where pee was located

How to keep the bathroom clean



Outside the bathroom door. OUTSIDE! What is wrong with them? Are they some sort of creepy exhibitionists?! “Hey! Everyone! Watch me unzip my pants and urinate outside the bathroom like some sort of inebriated boob!” I just can’t. Where did I go wrong?!





My children must have been Jackson Pollock in another life. Or they were BFFs in the Pre-Earth Life. I honestly have no idea how the huge drips of urine came to be. There were two frames hanging on the wall there a few weeks ago. Surely it must have been “fresh” pee… I couldn’t have missed it for that long people. Maybe I was reading a book or something and otherwise engrossed…


how to keep the bathroom clean with boys


No. You’re not imagining things. That IS indeed the bathroom ceiling. I wiped pee off of the AC vent. Told you the pee would have hit the fan if there was one. I’m both confused and astounded. How on earth did this happen?! There was PEE ON MY CEILING. But, obviously some seriously acrobatic things must be happening in my guest bathroom. I think all 3 boys are getting signed up for gymnastics.

At this point to be honest, my blood was boiling. Deep breathing was happening. But, not too deep. It smelled like tinkle after all.


how to keep the bathroom clean


Yeah. I’ve got nothing, folks. I honestly contemplated just posting an image of a yellow square rather than this. It may have been a more accurate depiction of the wee-wee carnage.




In my rage, I did the only logical thing:

sprayed the entire bathroom with ammonia.

I sprayed down EVERY SURFACE, turned on the fan (Not the spinning type the pee would have hit.), shut the door, and walked away.

The fumes took less time to chill than I did. It was on like Donkey Kong. They can pee like wild animals all they want in their nasty urinal UPSTAIRS BATHROOM. But, I will NOT have guests knowing that my children relieve themselves like blind, convulsing hyenas.

plan a

Once I finished sanitizing the bathroom, I channeled my fury. Into 3 “Instructional Signs”. One outside the bathroom(Because apparently my children need to be reminded to keep their penises in their pants.), one on the shower to see immediately upon entering the bathroom, and the last inside the toilet lid. You can even DOWNLOAD them yourself! Here’s a link to your FREE DOWNLOAD created by my rage. First sign, second sign, toilet sign.

Hopefully “Plan A” works. My neighbors aren’t going to like “Plan B”.

plan b

keeping the bathroom clean with boys

All boys pee outside.

I really think this is a solid back up plan. Maybe the neighbors won’t notice. I mean, our dog pees out back all the time.

How do you keep your bathroom “Free of Wee”? 😉



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12 thoughts on “How to Keep the Bathroom Clean… In a House Full of Boys

  1. Sarah says:

    Seriously! I have three boys, ages 1, 2, and 4. Really, only my four year old is using the toilet, but it gets everywhere! I can’t imagine what it will be like when there’s three of them all with fully functioning bladders. I like this idea, even in the winter … make ’em go outside! LOL

    • fourboys5 says:

      Sarah, Just wait. It’s total pee pee mayhem. Just have them keep some boots and a scarf by the back door for “pee time” 😉

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